Thankfully stories are non-linear (mine anyway) so I plan to share memories, intentions and images as they emerge rather than getting too attached to a beginning, middle and end.
Having said that ……what was our starting point? Well, as always with theatre clown it’s with what is happening right now. How is it to be here with each other in this space with this shared intention ?
The beginning of a process of checking in with each other, which ultimately has informed all of our work together and probably been one of the safest, most explorative and validating experiences of my life…..so far
Jose and I find ourselves sitting on blocks – discrete islands in the space. Our worlds are polarised…our ways of managing loss are polarised.
The worlds of Lily and Paco begin to emerge…..a metaphysical reality for Lily and the concreteness of what can be seen and consciously felt anchors Paco.
We explore in our improvisations how they can meet, how they can play, how they both avoid meeting the reality of their loss; pulling at each other’s world and the possibility of intimacy?
We are on the moon together, walking through space. At other times sitting in a liminal place where there is only uncertainty; Paco enticing Lily to put her toe into a river – to come back…..to come back to sensation. We taunt each other.
Lily offers a 6 step programme on how to grieve – how exactly to hold the body at each stage to optimise the process. It’s been researched. She is the expert! Paco is unmoved travelling instead to places that feel transformative and can not include Lily. Places that are quiet like bone; the bones that Paco carries with him all the time unknowingly.
We each visit our dead mothers in an annexe created.
What did she say? What did she look like ? Are the questions that we are left with answered ? Does it help with an onward journey?
A Poem from the Body:
Caressed by us
Rolling smiles returned to earth
Over arching light
I stand and gaze
Collapsed in grief
Strengthened in ancestry
A bigger me
The feet of me, the extension of me
You commence your star walk
I turn to life
A pointless life
And breathe vitality back into it
I breathe out and you move on
I breath in and you rest
I am the mountain
You are the surrounding space
Invisible world without end
My Moon Mother.